


Stargazer

by connorsanto



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: First Dates, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Sexual Tension, Stargazing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-17
Updated: 2019-12-17
Packaged: 2021-02-25 05:29:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21830770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/connorsanto/pseuds/connorsanto
Summary: Connor pinned him with his intense gaze."You're my best friend. I just want to always be this close to you. I wanna have my cake, and eat it too."In a fit of daring, Evan leaned up on his elbow and twirled a strand of Connor's hair around his middle finger."Then come eat it." He whispered.
Relationships: Evan Hansen/Connor Murphy
Comments: 20
Kudos: 159





	Stargazer

_ "I don't have much money,"  _ Connor had told him, seeming a bit embarrassed, ruffling his own hair so that it fell partially over his face.  _ "But I wanna take you out. I'll make sure we have a good time, if you give me a chance."  _

Of course, Evan hadn't needed much convincing. What Connor hadn't known was that Evan was secretly overjoyed, secretly relieved - for so long, Evan had gone in circles in his mind, trying to figure out a way to ask Connor if he'd like to be more than friends, to tell him  _ 'you're all I think about' _ . School was such a difficult place to do these things, because no one took relationships seriously in high school, and what if you broke up? Then you'd see them in the halls, in classes, and it was just such a mess that any move made was one to overthink about. 

That, and Connor was just such an incredible friend. The age old adage of  _ I Don't Want to Ruin Our Friendship _ was decently at play here, and it was one that Evan thought on at great length.

As with everything. When one thing was resolved, another took its place in the ever-whirling cyclone of Evan's mind. Which is why having the conundrum of Evan's feelings solved was bittersweet, because now he was staring himself down in the mirror, scrutinizing what he chose to wear and criticizing every hair out of place. Navy polo and a seldomly worn pair of dark jeans. He wondered what would happen if the place Connor took him was one he didn't like - would he have to act like he was enjoying it all night? What if Connor kissed him? Where would Evan put his hands? What if he was bad at kissing? What if Connor took him to dinner and wanted to kiss at the end and Evan tasted like -  _ I don't know, something dumb like ketchup? Fuck _ -

_ Bzzt. Bzzt.  _

Evan's phone vibrated on the nightstand next to where he stood and he dove for it, desperate to be saved from his own intense line of internal questioning. He didn't fail to notice the time, which was 7:30pm; he was late. Well, not  _ late, _ but the date was supposed to start  _ now _ and he wasn't ready, would he ever really be ready -

**Connor:** _youre overthinking it, u look fine and were gonna have a good time_

The accuracy with which Connor could read him, even without being in the same room, was sometimes something to be marveled at. Evan peeped from the blinds over his window, and sure enough, headlights from Connor's car shone back at him through the pane.

**Evan:** _ Thank you. Be down in a sec.  _

**Connor:** _ good deal _

Evan gave one more unsure glance at himself in the mirror, ruffling his hair slightly before slipping his wallet into his back pocket along with his phone and jogging to the front door. 

Connor was there, waiting for him at the passenger side. He was in his usual garb; dark hoodie, black skinny jeans with holes in the knees. Worn black boots. The only thing different was his hair - for once, it looked completely clean; fluffy and shiny chocolate waves tucked behind one ear, revealing a delicate silver double helix piercing.

"Hey," He greeted, opening the car door as Evan walked over. "Ready?"

"Yeah," Evan replied, giving Connor a grateful smile before getting into the car. Connor checked to see if he was in before gently shutting the door, circling quickly to the driver's side and hopping in. 

"So," Connor said softly as he started the car. "I'm not gonna tell you where we're going, 'cause it sounds lame."

"It's not gonna be lame." Evan replied, giving him a soft, encouraging smile. Connor returned it with a handsome one of his own through his hair, small and barely-there and lopsided but so  _ Connor _ . 

The rest of the ride was quiet, save for soft pop punk floating through Connor's car speakers. 

Soon enough, Connor pulled into a large, vacant lot - completely dark, without even a streetlamp. Pitch black save for the glare of Connor's headlights.

"There's a power plant off that way," Connor gestures out the passenger window once he put the car in park. "The lot is empty at night, and  _ super _ dark, so it's a cool spot to look at stars."

"We're gonna go stargazing?”    
“Don’t laugh, I know it’s cheesy. But I have other stuff for us to do, too, so...”   
  
Connor unbuckled and got out of the car before Evan could reply, and it was here, alone in Connor’s car, that he started to think on this for the first time.    
This seemed like every other time they’d hung out together; there was nothing to indicate this was an actual date besides a strange, awkward air that hadn’t been there before. Connor hadn’t touched him, hadn’t kissed him or talked about it being a date. The only thing about Connor’s behavior that had changed was that he seemed…  _ cagey. _ Almost like he didn’t want to be close to Evan for any length of time - which, wasn’t that the exact  _ opposite _ of what dates usually were?   
Evan nearly jumped out of his skin when Connor gave a gentle knock to the window, giving him a quizzical look through mocha strands of hair. Maybe it was his prior train of thought, or maybe it was the way Connor’s silver-blue eyes, lit by the moon, contrasted with his hair - but Evan felt his cheeks heat considerably as he pawed at the door handle.    
  
Connor heaved himself onto the car’s trunk, into a sitting position, helping Evan do the same shortly after. More silence.   
“Look up,” Connor murmured after a moment, no doubt feeling Evan’s eyes on him. Evan tilted his head skyward and audibly gasped.   
“There are so many,” He breathed, all anxiety forgotten for a moment in awe of the black sky splattered with hundreds of stars, like tiny speckles of white paint.    
“Same amount as always,” Connor whispered. “Except there’s nothing here to drown them out.”    
  
They sat together on the trunk of Connor’s car, in the middle of the vacant lot; the silence, not awkward like before, was instead profound and deep with understanding. Almost like a physical closeness.    
  
Evan slowly chanced a gaze at Connor, who finally returned it with a meaningful one of his own.    
  
So many things Evan wanted to say, to ask, but he found it almost impossible to speak, to tear his eyes from Connor’s, whose were soft and holding some unknown emotion in the moonlight.    
  
Slowly, tenderly, Connor leaned close and pressed his warm lips to Evan’s cheek - his hair tickled Evan's nose - pulling away just as smoothly and never letting his eyes lose that strange glint.    
Evan felt like his breath had been stolen; like he dared not breathe or the moment would be shattered. He stared back at Connor, wide-eyed. Connor only hopped from the trunk of the car and rubbed the back of his neck, suddenly taken with his shoes.    
“Let’s get back in,” He murmured. “I still have more stuff for us.”

Connor had already gotten into the car by the time Evan had the wherewithal to stop staring into space. 

Strangely, he was in the back seat; Evan sat on the other side, eyeing him curiously. 

"What now?" He asked slowly, suddenly very aware that this was usually how car sex started. His face burned at the thought, however pleasant it sounded.

"Now," Connor let out a sigh. "We watch a movie." He pulled a blanket and his laptop from under the driver's seat and beckoned Evan closer, holding his arm up. Obediently, Evan slid closer, until he was under Connor's arm, securely against his chest. Connor's arm was around his shoulders, hand pressed to his side. And how nice it felt; how safe and warm and intimate. The blanket was gently unfolded over the both of them and Connor tugged him closer, pressing him to his side and resting his jaw at Evan's temple. His hair was soft against Evan's cheek.

"What do you wanna watch?" Connor whispered softly into his ear, the light from the laptop sending white up his pale arms, and for a moment Evan contemplated saying  _ I'd really like to watch you get undressed  _ but he felt as if that might be a little much so he settled on "Do you have  _ Who Framed Roger Rabbit?" _ instead. 

Connor nodded against Evan's temple and pulled it up on the laptop and soon they were watching together in the dark, in the back seat of Connor's car, under a blanket under the stars. Connor holding Evan, Evan resting against him, feeling his even breathing and feeling the warmth radiating from him.

Every so often, Connor would slightly turn his head to plant a soft kiss at Evan's temple, and every time, goosebumps would race over Evan's arms. 

He wondered if Connor was this affected.

Tentatively, Evan tugged softly on the sleeve of Connor's hoodie.

Connor gave a soft hum in response, eyes still on the movie. Gently, Evan returned his kiss from earlier - chaste and soft on his cheek. He felt Connor stiffen immediately and wondered for a moment if he did something wrong.

Connor turned to him then, even turning his body slightly and looking into Evan's eyes with that same unreadable, stoic expression. There was something about that look - so guarded and thoughtful and sensitive - that made it impossible to look away, so Evan stared back, wide-eyed. Connor's glacial eyes seemed to search his face for a moment before settling on his lips.

And Evan watched his pupils  _ dilate _ , ever so slightly. 

"Connor," Evan whispered, though he wasn't really sure what he wanted to say. Connor didn't reply; he only swallowed and made eye contact once more with Evan, eyes widened slightly. 

And then he was carefully leaning in and stopping just a hair's breadth from Evan's lips, as if he were asking for permission, which  _ of course _ wasn't at all needed. Despite that, Evan closed his eyes and mumbled a soft  _ 'yes' _ and that was all it took before Connor was letting out a shaky breath and kissing him, the movie forgotten. 

_ Was this why we came all the way out to this abandoned spot? _ Evan wondered in a daze, trying to match the softness of Connor's kiss, the way his lips moved, the way his tongue so teasingly traced his bottom lip.  _ Is something going to happen here?  _ Connor slowly leaned him back to the seat, using a hand pressed between his shoulder blades to steady him, and Evan instinctively wrapped a leg around his waist. 

Connor's kisses grew deeper, more hungry - teeth instead of soft swipes of his tongue, fingers venturing over Evan's hips - and Evan was pretty sure the sounds escaping him as he tangled his fingers in Connor's hair were far from decent. Finally, Connor broke away with a soft huff, leaning over Evan, his dark hair almost like a curtain around his face. His cheeks had taken on color and his pupils were dilated quite wide. He panted softly.

"You've," Evan breathed. "You've been weird tonight."

Connor seemed caught off guard but not altogether disappointed, sitting back and staring silently out the window. 

"I just," He mumbled breathlessly. "I didn't want to mess things up."

"Mess what up?"

Connor pinned him with his intense gaze.

"You're my best friend. I just want to always be this close to you. I wanna have my cake, and eat it too."

In a fit of daring, Evan leaned up on his elbow and twirled a strand of Connor's hair around his middle finger.

"Then come eat it." He whispered. He watched Connor's eyes go wider, watched the blush race over his cheeks before Connor was leaning in once more and attaching his mouth amorously to Evan's neck, pressing him into the seat.

"I don't want to lose what we had," Connor muttered breathlessly into the nape of Evan's neck, swiping his tongue over a spot that he'd sucked raw. "I want to stay like this."

Evan could hardly manage more than a soft moan, moving his leg back to its previous spot around Connor's hip and threading his hands into his hair. Connor leaned and silenced the movie before pulling the collar of Evan's polo to the side and scattering love bites over his shoulder.

"I just want to be with you," Connor sighed, breath coming hot against Evan's skin as he tugged at his hair. "All the time."

"I…" Evan swallowed with great difficulty as Connor trailed back up his neck to nibble his ear. "I want that, too."

"I want  _ you _ ," Connor murmured, low into Evan's ear, and he had to suppress the full-body shudder that wracked through him.

"I want you, too," Evan's reply really only came as a vaguely word-shaped rush of breath as Connor's fingertips grazed under his shirt and at his hips.

"Promise?" Connor breathed, lips lingering over Evan's.

"Yes," Evan replied, hushed, sharing breaths with Connor. "I promise."

"Good," He whispered, giving Evan's lips a chaste kiss. "Don't leave."

"I won't."

Connor heaved a breath and leaned away, much to Evan's disappointment, and ran a hand through his hair.

"Jeez," He breathed. "You could kill me right now and I wouldn't care."

"I mean, same?" Evan laughed breathlessly, lacing his fingers with Connor's slender ones. Connor gave him a disbelieving, sort of surprised look, his eyes slightly glazed. 

A beat.

Evan gave a laugh and grabbed Connor by the front of his hoodie, pulling him back down for another set of languid kisses.

"We have nothing but time," Connor murmured, resting his chin on Evan's chest after the impromptu make-out session was over and their lips were red with contact, both grinning widely.

"Nothing but time," Evan repeated, closing his eyes and reveling in the night.

The stars shone brightly in the sky above, outside the window of Connor's car.

**Author's Note:**

> hi im a beacon of sin and there wasnt even any smut


End file.
